I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
