By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
