do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
