This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
