she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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