i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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