i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
