i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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