would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You took a bar mat shot.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
