fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize