Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
