He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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