I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
