I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
