Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
