your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
