hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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