If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
