he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
