A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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