I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
