I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
my being single is dangerous.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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