Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
