my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
