grandma shit on top of the toilet
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
