sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
