this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
