Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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