I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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