so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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