i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
