I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
