forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
even my farts smell like vagina
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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