Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
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So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
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I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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