Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
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