Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
