Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
