Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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