From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying