I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Sorry my hands just texted you
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
