We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize