That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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