first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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