My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
