It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
