i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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