I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
