Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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