If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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