I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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