writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
