Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
