On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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