How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
