He is an equal opportunity slut.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
