I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
