my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
