I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
