I cannot find my penis.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
