Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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