He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
