Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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