'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize