Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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