I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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