you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
