His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
