just come out here and I will go home with you...
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
